self definition
he question is, what am i, which means, what am i apart from being human and living in a western society. Well I consider myself as 25 years old, male, living in vienna and trying to find my luck, which, obviously hasn't reached its perfection, otherwise i wouldn't bother about my self definition.
Yes, i could list my favorite music, films, clubs, books, cities, sports, clothes, audio systems, countries, you know what i am talking about... well, the thing is, that actually i don’t feel like a sign, pointing at popular culture symbols, i am not a sign, and bey the way, i don’t want to be a sign, well so, I should better work on my description. But, you know what, i have the feeling, that there is no other simple way of describing his own personality in short, because referring to products or well-defined styles is the common way of describing ourselves and whenever i tried it differently no one answered. That could have three reasons, first, the things i am referring to are just boring; secondly, myself is awkward - whatever is included by that; or nobody understood what i was trying to imply by the things a pointed to .
Well, what ever it might be, i won’t recall it hear. So i came to the conclusion, that, whenever the question of self definition appears, i have to leave it open. But out of my desperation i will try a last alternative, and that is, expressing the feelings, which often spontaneously enfold in myself, and to shorten the procedure of my enthusiastic soul striptease, i will make a ranking of moods.
On the top we find “haphazardly”, the feeling of being completely aimless placed in a particular space and time, to meander around without any reason, absolutely disconnected from the environment which surrounds me. That may sound depressing, but i can insure you, it isn’t, it is more like an old fried which i just don’t question anymore, and because, depressing is on the second pedestal, not so fare apart from the first, but it is, by no means, clear that depression deserves the second place. It is a deep depression, beaten into my flesh by the inescapable cruelness of life. And well, last but not least, there is overarching happiness and excitement.
The thing is, until now i was not able to find out which actions, or circumstances are responsible for which feelings. Well i hope you have now a little more clue about me and the condition, which apparently enslave my character.
Yes, i could list my favorite music, films, clubs, books, cities, sports, clothes, audio systems, countries, you know what i am talking about... well, the thing is, that actually i don’t feel like a sign, pointing at popular culture symbols, i am not a sign, and bey the way, i don’t want to be a sign, well so, I should better work on my description. But, you know what, i have the feeling, that there is no other simple way of describing his own personality in short, because referring to products or well-defined styles is the common way of describing ourselves and whenever i tried it differently no one answered. That could have three reasons, first, the things i am referring to are just boring; secondly, myself is awkward - whatever is included by that; or nobody understood what i was trying to imply by the things a pointed to .
Well, what ever it might be, i won’t recall it hear. So i came to the conclusion, that, whenever the question of self definition appears, i have to leave it open. But out of my desperation i will try a last alternative, and that is, expressing the feelings, which often spontaneously enfold in myself, and to shorten the procedure of my enthusiastic soul striptease, i will make a ranking of moods.
On the top we find “haphazardly”, the feeling of being completely aimless placed in a particular space and time, to meander around without any reason, absolutely disconnected from the environment which surrounds me. That may sound depressing, but i can insure you, it isn’t, it is more like an old fried which i just don’t question anymore, and because, depressing is on the second pedestal, not so fare apart from the first, but it is, by no means, clear that depression deserves the second place. It is a deep depression, beaten into my flesh by the inescapable cruelness of life. And well, last but not least, there is overarching happiness and excitement.
The thing is, until now i was not able to find out which actions, or circumstances are responsible for which feelings. Well i hope you have now a little more clue about me and the condition, which apparently enslave my character.
gedankenwelt - 24. Sep, 20:55